I loved the photos
The essay made me so sad.
It is the typical story of the modern woman’s experience of her body during pregnancy. A journey that begins with joy but quickly turns to self-loathing and sadness –
Almost from the moment I found out I was pregnant, I felt hugely fat…. When I finally had to accept, at the end of month four, that I was now a whole dress size bigger, I actually cried – and went out to buy a pair of size 12 jeans.
This is a woman carrying her first child, and instead of joy, she feels – fat. It’s just wrong. (And yet who among us has not felt the same way?…)
Fortunately, by her fifth month, Smith begins to enjoy her pregnant body.
Bizarrely, though, I suddenly felt hugely confident….I even started to get a thrill from seeing the needle on the scales inching its way towards the 131/2 stone where it would end up… Friends would say reassuringly that most of that extra weight was the baby, and I actually felt rather gleeful as I replied that, no, the baby inside me weighed just a few pounds – and any extra weight was in fact me.
Well, Ms Smith, I think I need to correct you there. Technically, yes, much of the added weight was you. But much more than a few pounds was related to the baby.
Don’t believe me? Here’s how it breaks down in a normal singleton pregnancy –
Weight Gain in Pregnancy
- Baby – 7.5 lbs (more or less)
- Placenta – 1.4 lbs
- Amniotic fluid – 2 lbs
- Increase in uterine weight – 2 lbs
- Increase in breasts – 2 lb (more for some)
- Increase in blood volume – 3 lbs
- Increase in extracellular fluid (no edema ) 4 lbs
That’s over 20 lbs right there without a single ounce of extra fat gained. Most women will gain about 7 pounds of adipose during pregnancy, for a total normal weight gain of about 30 pounds. But I’d give Natasha another 5 lbs or so for those swollen ankles in her last few weeks.
Now, Smith did gain a bit more than 30 pounds.
She went from about 130 lbs to 188 lbs, for a total gain of 58 pounds. And yet, by 5 months post partum, she’s dropped all but 14 pounds of her pregnancy weight!
I’d say she’s doing just fine. Once she starts to sleep a bit more through the night, it’ll all be gone.
Why do I say that? Well, studies have shown that mom’s weight at one year postparum is inversely related to how many hours her baby is sleeping through the night at 6 months of age. Given that Smith still has a few extra pounds on her, I’d wager little Finn is still up for nightime feeds.
Bottom Line
Our obsession with weight is ruining our experience of our own pregnancies, whittling away little pieces of joy during one of the most special times of our lives.
Instead of worrying about our weight while we are pregnant, we should be finding ways to help new moms get the sleep they need.
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Photo by Caroline Marks at The Daily Mail online
What a wonderful post! The photos ARE beautiful. We women are so hard on ourselves, and the medical profession seems to be heaping on the shame (I am a former physician now working in the field of childhood feeding education.) There are so many articles now about “healthy” weight gain during pregnancy and scary stories about dooming your unborn child to a life of obesity if you gain more than 30 pounds. (Based on dubious science.) We are not only ruining our experiences with our pregnancies, but ruining much of our lives with the constant chorus of self-hate. Young girls mimic our words, “Look at my thigh fat! Its so gross!” (From a nine year old skinny child.) I hope this mom can learn to love herself and her body, if for no better reason that to be a better mom, to be a role model. I know having my daughter has helped me accept and love myself more. If I would be sad if my daughter wasted her life hating herself, shouldn’t I give myself the same respect? Thank you!
As a woman who has been overweight to a larger or smaller degree nearly all my life, I felt absolutely lovely during both of my pregnancies. Finally it was okay to be my size! A friend photographed me nude at 8 months during my first pregnancy and I will always treasure those photos and the memories they bring back. I cannot remember another time in my life when I actually liked my body. Ironic, isn’t it?
In Greece they say almost one kilo per month… is that correct?!
I love it when pregnant women weigh more,though!!! I think they look more happy and confident, glowing! My cousin is 1,66m tall and she weighed 90kg before the birth of my second nephew. She was so confident and smiling and running around joyfully.
I really can’t see why weight should be an issue of “appearence” or “ugliness” in a pregnant woman… I could never relate to such a thing.
there are almost no photos of me pregnant. of course, 20+ years ago, people only used cameras for special occasions; and who knew when the film would be processed?
i wasn’t lining up for photos, partly because i thought i looked like a blimp; partly because i feel awkward in photo moments. but on the other hand, i also think i felt great while i was pregnant, for the most part, and looked good, too. no idea why i didn’t think that was worth documenting.
ah, well. too late baby now.
In a way I do agree with you that our constant obsession with weight gain is ruining us enjoying this special time in our lives. I am five and half months pregnant now and weight gain is the least of my concerns but I suppose we need to understand that apart from being “the most special time” pregnancy brings with it tremendous anxiety for many women. Unfortunately, I’ve not had it very easy these few months and I know that despite my various set backs, I have to smile and bear this confidently and positively for the baby. If weight gain is the only worry for someone, I envy her for sure.
I am tired though of all the articles I read about gaining too much weight or too little weight or how supplements can lead to deformities. It leaves me neither here nor there. I’m more confused that ever about what’s right for me.
At the end of it all, I know that all the trials and tribulations of a pregnancy fade away when the baby is born. Everything finally falls into place and makes perfect sense. Here’s wishing all mothers and mothers to be a very Happy Mother’s Day!
Thank you so much for that post.
Brilliant post.
The pictures are wonderful! After having so many miscarriages, I was terrified during my pregnancy, but somehow always liked my growing form. Well, almost always. When it was mid December and I had to go to a Christmas party in fuzzy socks because I couldn't bear shoes clamping down around my swollen feet, I wasn't lovin' it.
Thank you for sharing!
Hello! It's Natasha from the photos here – I was really surprised to suddenly see these photos on this website, it gave me a bit of a shock!
Anyway, its now 18 months on from when I gave birth and a year on from when I wrote the article – I think I was overly obsessed with my weight at the time and with the benefit of hindsight probably wasted too much time worrying about it!
The thing was – probably because of what we see with celebrities – I totally expected to be back in my jeans in 6 weeks and to not gain 4 stone in pregnancy (which is what I put on!) – the reality was it took a whole year to get back to my pre pregnancy size and that got me down for a while until eventually I got bored with worrying about it!
I won't make the same error of worrying about my weight too much if I ever get round to having baby number 2 and am glad people like the pics!
[…] it certainly had been longer than 6 months, maybe 9. I read this paper (tip o’ the nib to The Blog That Ate Manhattan), and despaired of ever fitting into my clothes […]