I’m no hoarder. In fact, I’m pretty darned good at throwing stuff out.
At least once a year, I go through my closets and rid myself of the clutter. In doing this, I adhere to the first commandment from my bible – a 30-year old, dog-eared paperback called Getting Organized.
If you haven’t used it in the past year, get rid of it.
Given my recent weight loss, this year’s closet clean-out yielded quite a few largish items that I not only haven’t worn in the past year, but hope never to wear again.
Ironically, my daughters took most of these to recycle or wear themselves. (How is it that my baggy old clothes are so adorable on their lithe figures, thrown over a tiny top and leggings with boots?). By the time these little cuties had ravaged the throw-out pile, all that was left were a few stained items no one would ever want.
And the Steven Tyler shirt.
The Steven Tyler Shirt
No, it’s not an Aerosmith T-shirt. The Steven Tyler shirt is a light green cotton big shirt with tied sleeves that breaks not only my getting organized rule, but also every piece of advice Stacy and Clinton have ever given.
And yet, I just cannot bring myself to toss it.
You see that right sleeve there? It’s almost impossible to tie if you are right-handed. One day, some years ago, I was struggling to tie it while riding the elevator at the Palm Beach Four Seasons. (Not my usual digs, but I had given a lecture there earlier that day at our hospital’s annual seminar.)
A gentleman happened to be riding the elevator with me. When he saw me struggling, he put down the large boxed piece of artwork that he was carrying, and asked if he could assist me. When I gratefully said yes, he proceeded to tie the knot on my sleeve for me. He made it a double knot so it would be secure.
At the time, I wasn’t sure who my savior was, but suspected he was someone famous – he just had that aura. I also thought that he looked a lot like Mick Jagger, with a face that bore gloriously rugged evidence of a rockin’ life. Later that evening, a colleague informed me that Steven Tyler was staying at the hotel, confirming my suspicions that this had been no ordinary elevator encounter. (I can also confirm that Tyler’s totally had plastic surgery since then..).
So now you know why it’s called the Steven Tyler shirt, and why I can’t throw it away. I can’t donate it either, because that would mean its new owner would never know just how special this shirt is. Which brings me to this important question –
Does anyone want the Steven Tyler shirt?
I’m thinking someone out there might want it.
Just post a comment before Feb 1 telling me why you want the Steven Tyler shirt. Perhaps it’s just your size (2x) and you’ve got every Aerosmith album ever made. Or you’re making an Aerosmith quilt and that green would be a perfect color for it. Or you think it would bring you a million bucks on E-bay. Or you want use the fabric to make an outfit to bring you luck when you audition for Steven on American Idol this year.
Whatever.
As long as you promise to keep the Steven Tyler connection alive, the shirt is yours. If more than one person wants it, I’ll put the names in a hat and pull out the lucky winner.
I’m just warning you, if you plan to wear it, those sleeves are a bitch to tie…
Send it to me. I’ll use it in a quilt or make you a messenger bag out of it. 🙂
I do not need your Steven Tyler shirt but I also rode on an elevator with Steven Tyler — at the Ritz-Carlton in Chicago. He was so cool and tiny! I was definitely starstruck. His bodyguard joked that if the elevator got stuck, then we could have a singalong so I was really hoping we’d get stuck. I have a picture of me and him on my refrigerator and this happened maybe 15 years ago.
Wow – that’s a great story. How much fun if it had gotten stuck?
Love, love, love Aerosmith.
I say, get it altered and keep it. I like the messenger bad idea as well. Although…I will be in NYC this weekend and could swing by and take off your hands…you know for the sake of your clean closets and all. 🙂
Hope to see you and those gorgeous girls! All three of you could probably fit together in that shirt.
Of course you met Steven Tyler in an elevator.
What about donating the shirt to the girl that was subject in Ronnie’s column – you know, the girl that is losing her hearing and is on a mission to go to as many concerts while she can still hear. I bet Aerosmith is on her list of concerts, and the shirt would be a terrific collectable for her!
Great story.
Hey – great idea. I’ll ask Ronnie!
GREAT anecdote. Loved the story. I also love a good clothing purge. My closet is bare… due to a recent manic episode. 😉
Where did you put all the purged stuff?
There is in old saying that goes: If you want to see who you were, then look in the back of your closet…way to go on the purge and weight loss…wait, that didn’t sound right.
Oh wait – that’s not Steven Tyler…..
Too bad it’s not a 3X, you’d have yourself a deal. ;o)
Now that you’re hitting closet bedrock by purging this, here’s to renewal. There’s something wonderful about making room for fresh and new.
Celeste – It’s a roomy 2x….PLus, it could be your skinny shirt. You’re in the running, my dear.
It may be too late now that you are having a contest but I say KEEP IT. The Tyler shirt is part of you and should never be purged. When you are 95 years old you may put it on and remember that elevator and tight knot like yesterday. The story is a good one. You may need the Tyler shirt to remember.
As for the other fat clothes….purge away.
Either I’ll forget the story or it’ll become the one story I tell everyone I know at least once a day…at which point they will want to smother me with the darned shirt. I do have to say I like how it looks hangng in my now neat closet…
I need that shirt – #1 I LOVE Steven Tyler…always have…always will… #2 YOU ARE MY SISTER!
XOXO
Not bad, Ro. Toss in a bottle of merlot and you may be in the running….
Merlot, Cabernet, Malbec…any red will do – name it!
I say you wear it and try out for American Idol yourself. You can have Steven autograph it for you!
Otherwise, give it to me…I am your sister. you know.
Hey – that’s an idea. Oh wait – there’s that darned age limit…
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Did I say I’d make you a messenger bag? Or I could make you a voyager bag like this one: http://yfrog.com/h3l8qcj
How cute is that? And totally cool – This bright green color, however, would make it lose its coolness I think….’
You are SOOO amazingly talented RL.
Oh, I could tone down the brightness with some trim. 🙂
Thanks to months of neurontin and the immobility of multiple sclerosis, I am so far beyond 2X anymore it literally is not funny.
But, oh, to have the Steven Tyler Shirt!! LOVE Aerosmith (although not as much as Bruce, hope that does not disqualify me but I have to be true to The Boss). I am determined to lose weight again, so the shirt may be an incentive? Or just more jumble in my own closets, already overflowing with clothes from size 10 to size Omar the Tentmaker? Sigh.
At any rate, great story, great giveaway and may the best fan win. 🙂
I would love to have the shirt. I have chronic Lyme and so much pain in my hips I can not wear pants. A shirt that size would work well for me. I am an old hippie that followed Aerosmith. Much gratitude to Steven Tyler if I can get the shirt. It would be a reminder of the good old days that I miss badly.I would not sell such a treasure to me.
Namaste
Kathy –
The shirt is yours. If you want, send me a pic of you wearing it and I’ll post it!
Email me your address so I can ship it to you.
Thanks all for your comments – I only wish I could have cut it up and sent a bit to you all. But that would have destroyed the memory…