Still Doing It

I was interviewed this weekend for the online radio show And the Women Gather. We were gathered to discuss the book ‘Still Doing It – the Intimate Lives of Women over 60” by Dierdre Fishel and Diana Holzberg. I was quoted in the book about strategies for maintaining sexual health with age – kudos to the authors for paying attention to this important issue.

In the podcast, Dierdre and Diana discussed the stories of the women they interviewed for the book (and their documentary of the same name) – women who were living active sexual lives, some into their 80’s. A theme that came through again and again was that continued sexual activity did not occur in isolation. Women who continue to have active sex lives had active lives overall – they worked, they traveled, they exercised and took care of themselves, stayed involved with the world and maintained relationships, non-sexual as well as sexual, with others. Sex was just a part of their continued living of an engaged and active life. As one women put it “My life is orgasmic”.

Thanks to host Lorna Owens for a great interview and to Dierdre and Diana for including me in their book.

11 Responses to Still Doing It

  1. Look at you going on with your bad self! What a wonderful topic – the thought of women maintaining sex in the later years is so uplifting to hear…not letting go of sexuality certainly must make the idea of facing aging much more tolerable. Being old no longer means life has passed you by – at least from this point of view.

    I remember an episode of “ER” from many years ago where a love triangle involving two men and one woman was one of the sub-plots. The two men were in competition with each other for the affection of this one woman all while living in an old age home. As it turns out they were both having sex with this one woman. I recall my wife and I discussing how great it must be for them all to have this kind of life left to live!

    Awesome!

  2. I would be interested to know if the women who have an active sex life post 60 have ever had gynae surgery, i.e. hysterectomy or total abdominal hysterectomy. I notice there’s a lot of research on the short term sexual benefits of surgery on a woman’s internal sex organs but none on the long term consequences. And no, I haven’t had any surgery myself but have noticed changes in friends who have.

    Just interested to know.

  3. FYI there's a discussion going on about these issues now (Oct 27-Nov 3) at:
    http://www.thenationaldialogue.org. Today is the last day, so don't miss your chance to add your comments.

    It's called the National Dialogue on Health IT & Privacy. On the site, you can contribute ideas, and read and rate others' ideas. Watch in real time as the best ideas "rise to the top."

    ** The results of this online dialogue are being compiled into a report to the Federal CIO Council, Office of Management and Budget, and the incoming Administration by the National Academy of Public Administrators. **

    Hope to see you there.
    Maggie, The National Dialogue

  4. I keep coming back to look at this. Does the whole legs in fishnet stockings seem strange to other folks? It’s like a big symbol for straight male desire, and seems somehow weird with the female-centered, non-heteronormative sounding text.

    (But I realize that authors often have very little say in the covers of books, and that the people who do have say sometimes haven’t bothered to read the books.)

  5. Bardiac –

    I agree – it was not the cover I would ahve expected for the book.

    But then again, you know what they say – you can’t judge a book…

  6. Great blog some how i found you looking for info on our sons birth defect esophageal atresia, i wish you the best. also i was wondering if there is any way you would be willing to exchange links? I woulds be so greatful, thanks so much i iwsh you nothing but the best.

  7. Bardiac,

    Interesting perpective. As a guy, I LOVE the cover – hence your point. If that is a picture of a woman who is over 60, she has KILLER legs!

    Just curious…if an image were to go up from the point of view that you describe above, what would it be? I am not looking to be controvertial here, I am interested in what would be a better visual that describes the mature female perspective!

  8. What a great question! How about not picturing the female body as an object in parts?

    Using only part of a body intensifies objectification, especially when that’s a body part that’s closely associated with straight male desire.

    I’d probably have put a picture of a group of women, or even better, a non-picture, say a single color with some stripes in different colors?

    It’s hard to imagine how to picture women without objectifying us, because most pictures of women are used to objectify us. Hmm, maybe a neutral color with a bright red hat?

  9. I listened to the radio thing today; now I’m thinking about getting the book for my mother. I wonder if she’d forgive me?

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