Those carpets look expensive…Trust me on this.
You’re about to start a new job and move your family across the country to a place they’ve never lived before. Then, as soon as you get there, if not before, you have to solve America’s financial crisis, get us out of Iraq, find Bin Laden, and fix health care. You’re going to be a very busy man, and Michelle is going to have her hands full getting the family moved and settled in, not to mention doing whatever it is First Ladies do (though I would suggest she carve out something as far away from healthcare as she can – that backfired for poor Hillary).
This is not the time to get a new puppy.
Having a new puppy is like having a new baby. You and Michelle are going to need your sleep – listening to a puppy whining at night won’t be helpful in this regard. Not to mention the accidents. You don’t need to be coming home after a long day as Leader of the Free World only to step into doggy poo on the living room carpet.
Of course, you could hire a personal dog trainer. But that would make you look elitist and you don’t want to start out your tenure making that kind of impression.
No, a puppy is definitely not the way to go.
What you need is a dog that looks like a puppy, is cute like a puppy, and acts like a puppy but is already house-trained.
What you need is my dog, Lucy.
Look at her! Isn’t she adorable? She’s 3 years old, she’s well-behaved, she’s smart, and she’s hypo-allergenic. Your girls would love her, and she would love them.
Oh, don’t get me wrong, Obama. We love Lucy dearly. We do.
But the truth is, we’re all out all day long and poor little Lucy is home alone except for an hour when my friend Lori walks her. She would have a much better life there in the White House with the White House staff to keep her company when you’re all out.
Of course, like any dog, Lucy is not perfect. She does bark at strangers, but that would be a good thing what with your need for security and all. And she has never bitten anyone, so she won’t cause an international incident if you have, say, the Israeli and Palestinians over for dinner together.
You’ve said we all need to make sacrifices for our nation, and this is ours. We’re willing to give you our dog so you can focus your energies on the nation’s problems rather than wondering where to step. And save the US taxpayer dollars from being used to clean the White House carpets.
It’s the least we can do.
OMG, you made me laugh.
(If I knew your home number, I would SO get a friend to call and fake being a staffer looking to check out the puppy, and make sure I got one of your kids on the line.)
LOL i’m also in the “no puppy” camp, but am afraid i can’t offer my personal dogs.
buddy is the very sweetest dog on earth, but the dude sheds, a lot.
cora is shorthaired and not very allergenic, but her life mission is to harass the mailman, and every stranger who might possibly be a mailman in disguise; she does this by barking at nuclear levels. also, the white house squirrels would be in trouble. and her favorite indoor activity is jumping on the bed, which is where she believes she should be sleeping at night.
Not willing to give up my dumb, sweet lab Rusty. He would willing befriend your Lucy though. 🙂
do your daughters know you are tying to pawn lucy off on the president elect????? shame on you ms tbtam!!!!
my puppy NEVER whined, not even the 1st night i had him & was house trained pretty quickly. i am sure mailia's & sasha's secret service detail will be more than happy to walk the first dog around the white house grounds. do they have "poop scoop" laws in DC?
on a much more serious note, i hope they go the adoption route. there are so many wonderful dogs, pure-breeds too, that desperately need a good home & i bet if the first family were to adopt, many more would consider it as their first option!
Bardiac-
Wish you could have done that – it would have been a hoot!
Kathy A-
Sounds like Lucy – always protecting us.
RL-
Well, that’s good – the Obama family only needs on dig right now.
Anonymous –
SSSHHH! Don’t let on – I figure my kids’ll realize it when they notice I haven’t yelled at them for not walking the dog for a few weeks. 🙂
Agree adoption is a nice idea. Like adopting Lucy.
LOL! Lucy is quite a mop — I have a poodle mix and love the unrefined mop look!
I’m *quite* sure that the first dog will have a handler!
TBTAM,
It may be a difficulty, but I am a BIG believer in every child getting and raising a puppy. Why would you rob the girls of that relationship?
They are never going to have a normal childhood, and have already been told that if they hang in there through the campaign, they will get a puppy. What’s next? Just be the PERFECT child 24/7 that the world will observe, and you get (fill in the blank)? Not that the Obama’s have a big choice there.
The difficulties of puppydom will be minimized by the live in staff who will help with the “incidentals”.
Lucy is adorable by the way. I must say that I am partial to my own Fiona though!
I think she was kidding about not getting a ‘puppy’ — instead, getting a nice mature dog named Lucy!
Are you kidding? The Obamas are going to have everything done for them, from their laundry, to cutting their steak–I don’t think they’ll have a problem making sure the puppy is taken care of.