Still Doing It is a documentary film profiling nine older women as they talk about themselves, sex and love in later life. I was privileged to sit on a panel with the film’s maker, Diedre Fishel, at a recent showing. The film was well-recieved by our audience of mostly women healthcare professionals, and the discussion that followed was both lively and interesting.
Still Doing It tackles the stereoptypes and preconcieved notions about sex (or the lack of it) and aging. The women profiled are thoughtful, insightful and brutally honest as they talk about their aging bodies, their needs for intimacy, what they are still doing and what they wish they could do.
The film has a good mix of traditional and non-conventional women, including a sexual radical and a lesbian activist. This is not surprising, since more traditional women would not exactly want to talk about sex in a documentary. My favorite character was Frances, the 87-year old blind, wheelchair-bound woman who found her soulmate in the nursing home. And yes, they had sex. “Aware that many people see her as “nothing, but an old woman in a wheel chair,” she is defiant in living her life on her own terms. “When I’m having sex nobody matters. I’m in my own world, David is in his own world and we don’t give a damn.” (That’s them up there in the top photo.)
Also included among the nine women featured are a 74-year old woman who has a lover 40 years her junior, a newly-married couple in their 60’s , two African-American women, one ex-hippy, a New York Jewish widow and a lesbian couple. (I didn’t see any couples that reminded me of my parents, but maybe that’s a good thing…)
Fishel takes on the nursing home, health care and retirement community industries and challenges them to recognize that sexuality is a lifelong issue for their clients. She also criticizes the prevalent images of youth that drive our culture and our self-esteem. In attempting to counter this, the film does not shy away from images of the aging female body, in various stages of undress and in all it’s variety. Fishel also points out that European films still portray older women as sexy, while American films do not. I might have to take issue with that, having seen Diane Keaton in Something’s Gotta’ Give. (Although why she she picked Jack Nicholson over Keanu Reeves, I’ll never understand…)
Still Doing It is a great vehicle for opening up the dialogue around sexuality and age. I encourage you to see this important documentary if you are afforded the opportunity.
The filmmakers are also going to be doing a book, and hope to expand both their subjects and their audience. If you know of anyone who would be interested in being interviewed for the book, you can contact them through their website.
Category: Second Opinions, Considerations
