I signed on to one of those diet delivery services, with three fresh meals and 3 snacks delivered right to my door every morning in a little black cooler.
The food ranges anywhere from fabulous to just fine (that’s a particularly delicious lunch in the photo up there), and I’ve lost 5 lbs in four days. I’m giving up caffeine in the process (can’t drink coffee without half and half and sugar, so it had to go), so I can’t say I feel fabulous yet, but I expect that will follow.
What I’m finding is that this diet is NOT about the food. The food is taken care of, and it’s out of my control – except for restrictions I might put on it, such as no vinegar because it gives me headaches. The meals are good enough that I enjoy what I am eating, but can’t over eat. I just eat what they give me, and that’s that, on the schedule they suggest.
Which leaves me to deal with the emotions that come up when I can’t use food to stuff them down. It’s the closest thing to going cold-turkey that I can imagine.
I’ve probably cried more in the past 4 days than I have in months. Not about anything in particular, or anything serious – just raw emotion coming up. Seeing Mama Mia last night, for instance, was a real wellspring. (Fun movie, by the way. A bit silly, but hey, why not? It’s summer, and a chance to see Meryl Streep singing and doing air splits and catch a little Colin Firth eye candy.) Maybe it’s just the caffeine withdrawal, but I really think it’s more than that.
Because in the end, my weight is not about the food. It’s about what I use food for other than sustenance. Now, someone else is dealing with the food. Leaving me to deal with the rest some other way.
So stay tuned. This is going to be interesting…
Wow, that sounds like a great idea in so many ways. But how is it for someone who loves to cook?
(I’d eat a lot more veggies if someone else made them for me. But maybe that’s just an excuse?)
Realizing the emotional issues about eating seems really important and difficult. I hope it goes better for you.
The most useful thing I learned from reading tons of Freud and such in grad school is that you can’t choose not to have neuroses, but sometimes you can choose a less painful/harmful one, if that makes sense. So instead of doing X to deal with things, you do Y.
On that note, my bike is calling 🙂
Good luck with your diet!
Bardiac-
I still get to still do some cooking on weekends at our cottage, since they don’t deliver there. And on vacation, which is in 2-3weeks.
But vacation has never been my problem food wise – I lose weight every year on vacation. Lots of biking, time to cook good food and no NY delis or food carts to pass by every morning.
Real life is where it all breaks down for me, and this service fits in perfectly with that.
Too hot to bike today here in NYC…
Good luck! That meal looks actually really good! Big hugs from me.
My goodness, that looks way better than anything I eat. I need a service like that, I hate to cook and eat about once a day which is no good for the metabolism, so they say. I would be in heaven with 3 squares and 3 snacks delivered!
Just keep feeling and crying and writing and see what happens. This would be a great time to keep a food-mood journal. How do you feel after you eat certain foods? What comes up and when does it surface? What do you miss about the NY Deli, besides the food when you can’t get in their to order lunch?
You’re a scientist so view it is a big experiment with tasty independent variables and keep data. And bonus – Imagine the cool blogs that will come out of this. Instead of The Blog That Ate Manhattan – consider yourself, “The Blog That Deconstructed Her Cravings” for a while. Can’t wait to hear what you discover.
That does sound interesting. Good luck with it!! (Glad the food is good).
Well, good luck with the diet. Personally, I never understood how dieting companies make money by giving people food. Food is what you want to avoid when you’re dieting. Like, what if some other company tried to market cigarettes to people who were trying to quit smoking. “Want to quit smoking? Stop smoking what you’ve been smoking and start smoking our cigarettes. Just smoke the 3 gourmet cigarettes we send you each day and you’ll quit smoking in not time!”
Sounds like a neat plan. I’ve always said that people with other addictions don’t have to shop for, prepare and feed themselves and families with the addictive substances.
Food represents so much, I know I equate food with love and safety and fun… all good things.
I know you blog but consider doing a separate handwritten journal for your more private thoughts.
Sometimes what is between the lines is more important than what is written.
I have to do something too.
Dear TBTAM, I feel your pain, as any grocer’s daughter naturally would. There was a period of time when I struggled terribly with a very powerful attachment of my own, and then I “met” Pema Chodron who helped loosen the vice considerably. In one of her books, “Start Where You Are,” she interprets some of the 59 Tibetan Buddhist mind-training slogans (penned by Atisha, in 982 CE), a powerful collection of short, pithy, down-to-earth strategies about how to regard and deal with attachment. She entitles one chapter “Poison As Medicine” (based on slogan #8), which addresses what to do with the negative emotions associated with attachment. If you haven’t had chance to read it, do advise, and will fax over the three pages pronto. Wise reassuring observations from a most remarkable little Buddhist nun! pjg
To all – Thanks so much for your comments. It’s getting harder as the days go on to stay with this thing, and I am keeping a diary blog that is private for now so that I don;t self-edit.
The hardest part is actually physical – headaches – that I think are related to caffeine withdrawal. I”m hoping that gets better soon.
Will keep you up to date.
It seems ironic that a physician with extensive nutrition knowledge, cooking skills worthy of a blog, and a wealthy lifestyle should pay someone to deprive her calorically. Perhaps volunteering at a food bank and talking to a therapist could achieve longer-lasting results. Will you ever drink coffee again? Good luck!
TBTAM,
Keep it up. You owe it to yourself to feel great inside and out.
Let your family help you. If you are feeling the urge to eat, then tell someone at home, and maybe they can help get you through the moment with a walk, or something else that will encourage the non-food choice.
By the way, from the look at the food being provided, I seriously doubt you are being deprived calorically.
Way to go!
Rochelle –
The irony is not lost on me. One does have to wonder, however, why you felt it necessary to point it out.
As for my lifestyle, trust me, it does not come from wealth. Subsidized housing, hard work, a very frugal husband and not a few sacrifices. You make presumptions.
Schruggling – Thanks!
pjg – Would love to read those faxed pages…Thanks, as always, for your thoughtful comments.
I wondered about your cooking, but you’ve answered that above. Take care.
I could give up food a whole lot easier than I could give up caffeine! Best of success to you.
Interesting. This was one of the days I was at BlogHer so I missed this news. I am particulary impressed with going off caffeine, which is something I can’t even imagine doing (although I think about it once in a while!) I’d have to start with diet soda, and then if I could possibly give up that, maybe I’d think about coffee. Good luck with the diet.