The next time someone you love is in the throes of PMS…
No. Wait. Before the one you love is in the throes of PMS. You know, when you can see it starting. The short answers, the distracted look, the lethargic pose, the negative comments.
Before she starts lashing out at you, and you start lashing back, and someone says something they regret. And definitely before you ask “Are you getting your period?” Because if you haven’t learned it by now, never, ever as a woman in the throes of PMS that question.
Before all that starts, stop. Take a breath. Calm yourself down (because you can, she can’t).
And do something different this month.
Draw her up a nice warm bath, with some nice herbal bath salts. Light candles all around the tub. Put on a really nice CD – something happy but soothing. (I’m working on a PMS mix – I’ll let you know as soon as it’s done. In the meantime, if you have a Colin Hay CD, you can use that.) Sit a warm cup of cocoa and her book on a little table beside the tub, or on the sink or the toilet seat, whatever…
Then take her by the hand (and this is the hard part, because she is going to resist…) and lead her to the bathroom and show her what you’ve prepared for her.
At that point, she will say something like “Awwww…” or “This is so nice..” or “Cocoa? You made me cocoa?” And she will slip into that nice warm bath, and listen to the great mix that you’ve made for her (it’s coming, I promise), and read her book for an hour.
And when she’s done, she will feel better.
Now, isn’t that better than asking “Are you getting your period?”
Category: Considerations
Here, here!
This cracked me up… now.
But I hate being told to “just take a nice hot bath” for pms or cramps, and I was told that any number of times when I was young. I was told that when I lived in a boarding house with a shared “bath” room, and in apartments with no bath. (Did doctors not realize that people don’t always have baths available? I was too young and ashamed to say anything.)
I was told that when I needed to be at work or in school. (Did doctors–all male in my early experience–think a girl/woman just didn’t need to work or go to school?)
It sure seemed that they just didn’t take my pain seriously (though I don’t think mine is worse than most womens, it’s not like I can do a direct comparison). Now I’d say they were maybe a bit sexist? (Note the slightest tinge of sarcasm?) But then, I figured it just sucked to be female in yet more ways.
What POs me now is that I didn’t know going on birth control pills would likely have helped (and does now). I wonder why no doctor ever suggested that to me?
Okay, enough complaining. Here’s to birth control and all the effective pain stuff we have available now (even if I don’t need it because of the bc!). (Err, my strong reaction tells me the hot bath thing really POs me even now. Sorry.)
Still, some hot cocoa sounds nice.
I would like to sign up to be one of the first recipients of the PMS mix. Although I don’t really have pre-menstrual syndrome because of my birth control method, I certainly have post-madhouse syndrome after a crazy day at work, pissed-off d/t misdiagnosis syndrome if I miss a zebra, porked-out on manicotti syndrome if I eat too much… The PMS bath looks like just the thing, and the music is a deal-maker.
As a fellow PMSer I hear you.
This post was not meant to imply that a hot bath is the only treatment for PMS, or that every woman with PMS should take a bath. Or that you should take a hot bath.
It just happens to be what I did the other night for my daughter when she was having PMS. And, for whatever reason, it helped.
That’s all.
I’m sorry, I did have a strong reaction! Leftover frustration, but not really at you. And of course, your postings on the benefits of birth control indicate that you do take pms and cramps seriously.
I’m glad it helped your daughter!
Bardiac:
🙂